I have not abandoned this blog. Yet. But that would be pretty like me. I can’t count the number of blogs I’ve started and abandoned. And hopefully remembered to delete. Hm.
I didn’t post this month at all on purpose. I needed some time to step back from everything and regroup. Apparently 5 back-to-back IUIs took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally and I just couldn’t do IVF right after that without a break.
And the break was great! I relaxed, I exercised more, we went to San Francisco and Napa for the third time and solidified the fact that it is our very favorite place in the country. Everyone we meet there is just so amazingly kind and relaxed and generous and friendly. We were asked about 10 times this trip if we were locals which was kind of nice. We went to more places that were off the beaten path so we got a better, more intimate look at the wineries and the people who run them. A lot of the time we were being shown around by the owner, not a tour guide or the person working their tasting bar. It was awesome. AND we got to punch down some grapes in a bin and watch what happened when the juices underneath that had been in contact with the yeast rose to the top. It was so much fun. Every time we go we have a new, exciting experience.
BUT, back to what you’re here for I suppose. We have officially entered our IVF cycle. My RE had me come in to sign consents and chat, so I did that before we went to Napa and it was basically a “I think this is a good idea, there’s no sign that IUI WON’T get you pregnant, but I support your decision to move ahead since this has taken a lot out of you and you’ve been through a lot.” Which is good. I’m glad she supports our decision not to be miserable month after month after month until we come to this same conclusion somewhere else down the road. She also said that my attitude towards the protocol could affect the outcome..and I think that she was not-so-subtly saying that my feeling that IUI was a waste of time after the 3rd one affected how #4 and #5 turned out? Whatever. I don’t really care how she feels about my attitude towards IUI as long as she is going to let us move forward with IVF and stop wasting time.
Unfortunately, my protocol calls for me to do absolutely nothing until CD21 which is on 10/10/12. A lot of other girls seem to be on birth control pills for the first 2-3 weeks of their cycle but my RE apparently doesn’t roll that way? I don’t know. Or maybe I ovulate so late in my cycle anyway that it doesn’t matter and my ovaries don’t need the suppression? I have no idea.
So I don’t have much to say until October 10th. That day I’ll go in for blood work and if I have ovulated already then I’ll start on a shot of Lupron every morning between 5-9am for 10 days and go back for monitoring/blood work until I start with the Gonal-F pen injections. Then that goes on for a week or so with more monitoring and when things look good, I take the HCG shot in the butt and 36 hours later is the ER.
When I write it out like that, it doesn’t sound like much but when the meds actually came in the mail? Holy crap. Look at all this stuff you guys. Look at it:
I think I’m most nervous about the ER (egg retrieval in case the abbreviation doesn’t make sense to you! (in which case, you’re lucky because you probably don’t have to deal with this shit)). I’m nervous about the anesthesia and feeling like I’m going to sleep and not wake up. Hopefully I can just relax when we get to that point and it will be fine. I’m also nervous about feeling like crap on the Lupron, possible weight gain, headaches, mood swings, hot flashes etc…but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
In the meantime, waiting for CD21 on 10/10 and just getting used to the idea of the needles every morning. And then every morning and every night. And then my husband stabbing me with a 2 inch needle in my butt.
Yeah, I’ll definitely need some time to get used to these things..