Grace and Other Things I Do Not Have
I’m coming to the end of stims (yay!)
Monday’s blood & ultrasound were good but I wasn’t there yet.
Thursday (yesterday) – blood & ultrasound showed 17 follicles. The nurse who called said she thought one or two more days. So I drove the 40 minutes there, 40 minutes back in the morning for the appointment. Then when she called, I had to drive there and back again in the afternoon to pick up a refill on Follistim so I could take it last night. That was kind of annoying.
This morning at blood & ultrasound I had 23 follicles. Went to the appointment, then went to pick up sperm and came home. I’m hoping to get a call back soon to tell me if I trigger tonight for a retrieval surgery on Sunday or if I take another night of Follistim and go back in the morning for another blood/ultrasound for probable trigger on Sat/retrieval on Mon.
Since I have more shots behind me than I do before me (hopefully just the trigger shot left..lets all cross our fingers that Jon can do it. I’m concerned) I can honestly say that this process really hasn’t been as bad as I expected it to be. Yes, I still have the trigger shot and retrieval to worry about, but so far, things haven’t been nearly as bad as I imagined. I got used to taking the shots pretty quickly and aside from a couple of days of mood swings, some heightened thirst and sleepiness and some discomfort in the ovary area…it’s been fine.
Not that this is something I want to do again, but if I HAD to at least I know what to expect now. I feel lucky that I haven’t had many side effects and that I’m looking at a great amount of follicles.
Also looking back at this though I wish I were the type of woman who handles these things with more grace. Some days that I was uncomfortable (although probably not more uncomfortable than I am now pre-retrieval) I did some complaining. Or whining. Or was just generally lathargic/lazy. I kind of wish that maybe during the process I could just told myself that I was lucky to be a best-case-scenario version of IVF and shut up. I can’t say that I won’t complain ever again through pregnancy or even the next few days, but I do want to keep reminding myself to be a little more thankful and try to handle anything that comes with more grace. Or, as Kelly Cutrone puts it, to put some gratitude in my attitude…something that I probably should have been doing for years now.
(And the “Other Things I Do Not Have” portion – patience, an even-temper, the ability to plan ahead for anything..)