Because I’m clearly a masochist, I tested again this morning with a wondfo strip and a First Response test and they were also negative.
And no offense because I know everyone wants to say something uplifting or optimistic about “the journey” and “the grieving process” and whatever else…this journey has been a huge fucking waste of time and money. We have spent a year not really LIVING our lives but instead being controlled by all of this stuff and it’s timelines. We have put thousands of dollars into it and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Not one single thing is different now than it was when we started.
I want kids. I want SOMETHING to work and right now it feels like nothing is going to. If there’s supposedly nothing wrong with me and our best embryo didn’t take, what point is there to try the 8 frosties that were graded lower? I honestly want to tell them to flush them all down the toilet. What is the point of wasting ANOTHER year of our life for nothing but tears and bills?
And I don’t need people’s platitudes like “it only takes one!” or “you’ll be so much more grateful when it works!” because it’s bullshit. Sell it somewhere else. There is nothing to say that can make this better.